Archive for the ‘humor’ Category
If you are wondering why far left bloggers are so angry and vicious right now, I might suggest the Kubler-Ross Model for the five stages of grief as a point of reference.
1) Denial: “We are solid! We just wrapped up the largest Democratic Convention in history in a great big football stadium with a hot new nominee! This is gonna be a quick two months! McCain’s so old news. I mean Palin who? McCain must be pretty desperate. Oh, she’s just some housewife and former Mayor of a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere with zero experience. Plus, she’s pro-life so no woman in her right mind would ever vote for her. It’s so lame that McCain would pick a woman anyway. Biden is exactly what we need! McCain & Palin = More of the Same.”
2) Anger: “Well, nobody can believe the polls! There’s still two months to go! And McCain and Palin just keep lying about EVERYTHING! That baby isn’t even hers! And who tries to sell airplanes on EBAY!? I mean they just lie about EVERYTHING and they’re dumb! And Obama has proven executive leadership because he’s been campaigning longer than Palin has been governor of Alaska!!! And by-golly we are the party of change because we say so!!! Nobody cares that you two mavericks have a record of reform! We are the party of change because we thought of it first you dingbats!!! Biden’s been fighting for change for 30 years! Did you hear me!? I said, ‘change for 30 years!!!'”
3) Bargaining: “Okay, maybe Obama should have picked Hillary. But thank goodness we still have over a month. Maybe we’ve been too nice. Soooooo, we are gonna crank up the negative campaign ads because when we say change–voters are gonna get a big ol’ dose of change!!! And we will agree to debate you three times (and maybe some other forum if we think it will work). But the debates are gonna fix this mess. I mean when Obama is standing next to McCain talking about his community service and rise to junior Senator status and his plans for shiny new expensive government programs–we’ll get back that momentum we lost. Nobody wants to hear about someone’s thrilling military service record, war stories, POW survival, all those big clashes in DC the last couple of decades that have saved tax payers lots of money and put crooks in jail, and how Iraq is better off with a chance at liberty and freedom. No, Sir!!! People are gonna see that Obama has a solid, proven record of the change we need.”
4) Depression: [near future] “Ummm, three debates is good. Yep. Three’s good. I’m good with three. I think we made our position pretty clear to the American people. And when the voters finally stop to think for themselves about who has what it takes to be the leader of the free world, they are gonna look at Barack Obama and… and… well, who am I kidding? Gosh, poor Biden never even saw what hit him in that VP debate… Why didn’t we pick Hillary? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!?? We needed the Clintons! If only we had more time! And I’m so busy—swamped with all these college classes and studying for mid-terms. I don’t even know if I’ll be voting November 4th. What’s the point?”
5) Acceptance: [near future] “These have been the longest, and most agonizing two months of my entire life. But I’ve learned something. And I’ve been part of history. McCain’s not gonna be too bad. It’s not the end of the world. Heck, at least Bush is gone. And if that’s not change then I don’t know what change is. And Hillary might just kick some butt in four more years anyway…”
And for all you Palin haters out there:
The problem with your reasoning is that McCain is the one running for President — not Palin. And Obama has even less experience than Palin. So when you knock the governor you knock the junior senator from Illinois.
McCain is correct: he needs no on the job training. Obama does.
And nobody REALLY cares about any VP nominee’s experience or abilities because VP’s manage the Senate unless and until the President dies. It’s a pretty thankless job. So VP’s generally are supposed to strengthen the ticket. And Palin does that, plus she has the necessary experience.
You don’t hate Palin. You hate the fact that people LIKE Palin. You hate the fact that Obama picked a yawner of a VP. You hate the fact that Obama is not meeting your expectations. You hate the fact that an election might be slipping away. It’s not that Obama doesn’t care. He does care. It’s just that Obama doesn’t get it. He’s just too inexperienced I guess. In a moment of weakness and self doubt he reached out for the trusty old liberal white guy — Biden.
Well, good luck with that.
I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. — J.