Archive for the ‘parenting’ Category

Daddy Survivor

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How’s this for a reality show idea?

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one house each, one car each, one dog or cat as a family pet, and three kids for six weeks.

There is no fast food.

Each Dad must take care of his three kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of “pretend” bills and budget for groceries with not enough money.

Each Dad will be required to build a model American Indian hut with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker.

Each Dad must get a four-year-old to eat one serving of peas.

Each kid will play two sports and either take one music or one dance class.

Each Dad must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment, and a haircut appointment.  He must also make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the local Urgent Care Clinic on either a weekend, evening, holiday, or the same day he intends to leave for a vacation.

Each Dad must also make five dozen cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

The Dads will only have access to television when the kids are 1) asleep or 2) all the chores have been completed.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church or another regularly scheduled activity, and find time once per week to spend the afternoon at a park or similar setting.

Each Dad must read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and their hair each morning by 7:00 A.M.

They must clean up vomit at least once (pet dog or cat will also suffice) at 2:00 A.M., and must tend to any ill children all day long until the child is better.

Each Dad must maintain excellent hygiene and high levels of energy, creativity and optimism, wear nice clothes, wear stylish but comfortable shoes, stay fit and thin, have perfect hair and must try to get through the day without pet hair, snot, spit-up or food on their clothing. 

    Each Dad must demonstrate detailed knowledge of their kids including each child’s: birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size, doctor’s name and phone number, favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear, and what they want to be when they grow up. 

 The kids and viewers will vote the Dads off the island based on poor performance.  The final Daddy survivor left standing wins the competition only if — he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice!

 

 

The True Face of Facebook

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Do you want your underage children earning free condoms on Facebook

Facebook.com, once a creative networking site for students and alumni of Ivy League schools, is quickly degenerating into a sloppy, ad-filled Myspace cultural polluter.  This past year, changes were made that allow almost anyone to create a personal profile including kids in junior high and high school.  (More members = more advertising dollars for the people at Facebook.) 

So the question is, “Do the parents of these kids realize that Facebook is succumbing to advertising dollars with gimmicks such as free condoms?”  While the advertisers would attempt to hide behind their “safe” sex mantra, the reality is that they are just promoting MORE sex among teenagers.  And that gives a whole new meaning to social networking.

FYI Update:  “[T]een abstinence as a ‘significant and independent predictor of academic success,’ [is] associated with a 40 percent lower rate of highschool expulsion, a 50 percent lower rate of dropping out of high school, a 70 percent increase in the probability of attending or graduating from college, and a 66 percent increase in college graduation.”

The French Surrender Again… to Parenthood?

French author Corinne Maier has written a book called No Kid: 40 Reasons Not to Have Children

“The child has become so vested with importance, such a huge burden requiring so many changes to one’s way of life that having one has become inhumane, so my advice to people is don’t have any,” says Maier.

Here are 20 of her reasons:

— Childbirth is torture

— You will become a mobile feeding bottle

— You will struggle to continue having fun yourself

— You will lose touch with your friends

— You will have to learn a language of idiots to communicate with your children

— Your children will kill your desire

— Children sound the death knell of the couple

— Having children is conformist

— Children are expensive

— You will be duped into thinking that there is such a thing as a perfect child

— You will inevitably be disappointed by your own child

— You will be expected to be a mother before you are a professional and a woman

— Families are a nightmare

— Children will put the seal on your childhood dreams

— You can’t stop yourself wanting complete happiness for your progeny

— Staying at home to look after children is breathtakingly dull

— You have to choose between motherhood and professional success

— When a child appears, the father disappears

— There are already too many children on the planet.  Times Online Article

Commentary:  Parenting is not easy.  Slackers need not apply.  Parenting is likely the single greatest personal challenge possible.  It takes a tremendous investment of emotions, time, energy, and resources.  And I never really appreciated what my parents had done for me until my 20’s when I became a Dad.  Raising the next generation is no small task, but you can do it!  And to absentee husbands and fathers: your family desparately needs you–your love & leadership!  Parenting is your opportunity to shape the world.

Never!  Never!  Never surrender! 

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Young Churchill